10 Tips to Avoid Self-Harm and Cutting

I know I can't be the only one who has to fight the urge to cut. Sometimes, I win; sometimes I end up with a mess to clean up and a few cuts to hide. I can't make up my mind if the reason I cut is because I just want to feel something, anything - or if I want the release of the blood. Honestly, I think it is both for me. Your reason for self-harm is your own...I can only speak about myself in this as self-harm is just so.....personal. I haven't cut in a while I'm happy to say, but I get the urge to do so more often than I'd care to admit. I know self-harm is a very strong urge to resist, so here are 10 tips to help resist the urge. Some are tried and true; some I haven't tried yet but think they might work. I believe that the self-harm urge (particularly cutting) is like cancer - it never goes away, but it can go into remission.

Before we begin, know the Self-Injurer's Bill of Rights, so if you end up cutting or self-harming, you know your rights when you are being treated for your injuries. So without further delay:

1. Get up and move.
Put your sneakers on and run, jog, run-in-place, do some Pilates, run up and down your staircase at home - just get yourself moving. The endorphins released by physical exercise might help decrease the urge. If you find that after a few minutes, you're still feeling the urge, push your body physically a little more. Add a shout and some arm waving to whatever you're doing. What you're trying to do here is release that build-up of internal pressure...that urge - without self-harming.

2. Scream.
Yes, that's right - scream. Throw your head back and let 'er rip. Scream out all that internal pressure, scream out your pain - scream, scream, scream! This works best (of course) if you're alone. I scream sometimes in the car when I'm driving. I try not to do it at a stop light (cause the people in the cars next to you will think you're nuts), but honestly - since you'll probably never see those people again, who cares what they think?

3. Write in your journal.
If you have a journal, use it. Write out the feelings that can't be expressed verbally. Even being numb is a feeling. What would things be like for you if you could feel? When you allow yourself to feel, it is too painful to deal with so you'd rather face physical pain than emotional - I get it; but can you face the emotional pain by writing some of all of it down? Do you cry? Write about it. Allow the others to come out and write as well. Just for a few minutes, open yourself up on paper. Let it out. Sometimes when I do this, I'll burn the written words after wards...just too personal - even for myself. Be careful with this one, though. Sometimes, others inside will really resent your writing things down and may give you massive headaches.

4. Arts and Crafts.
Here lately, I've been playing around with crocheting and knitting not only to fight the urge to cut, but also as a stress reliever. Some times I need to crochet a bit before I can post to this blog because the mere fact that I've created this blogspot in and of itself is sometimes very triggering for me. You don't have to be creative or even particularly artistic to do crafts. Get yourself a 'how-to' on a craft you'd like to learn and dive in. If you already have experience - pull out your materials and have fun. Singing a song you enjoy can also help.

5. Call a friend or your therapist.
Phone a friend and gossip, or talk about the latest fashions. Men, call and talk about sports or whatever you and your friend have in common that isn't related at all to self-harm. Go meet up for a cup o' coffee or something. Going to see a movie would work as well. Be comfortable enough with this friend that if you need to walk out on a movie that is triggering, you can do so without it being a big deal.

6. Watch some comedy.
It is true that laughter is the best medicine. Laughter also releases endorphins that might help with relieving some of the internal pressure. When I'm feeling depressed I'll seek out comedy. When I feel like cutting, I do the same thing. And I stay away from my razor blades. I use them to arch my eyebrows (no hate mail please...plucking takes too long). I also use them for cutting, so although most times they are used to keep my uni brow under control, I'm not kidding myself about them, either.

7. Interact with your pet.
Pets are wonderful for giving unconditional love. I used to wrap my arms around my dog's neck and just hug her. She'd lick my arm or hand and just stand there leaning into me until I let her go. Find comfort in your pet. Play with her, give her a tickle. Show her the love you don't feel at the time and she's pay it forward to you tenfold.

8. Pray, meditate and positive affirmations.
I don't know your religious bend, or even if you are spiritual, but sometimes prayer and meditation can help relief the urge to cut and self-harm. I used to walk a labyrinth sometimes during my lunch hour when I worked. It helped to calm the system and decreased the urge to cut. You can create a labyrinth in your home on the floor without putting a pattern down. Just take slow, purposeful steps in whichever pattern you find smoothing. Breath in deeply as your heel makes contact with the floor and exhale when the ball of your foot makes contact with the floor. Alternate and just continue to deep breath.

9. Create a contract with yourself (selves).
Draw up a written contact that you sign and commit yourself to that creates a reward system for not self-harming and cutting. For example, create a time line reward system that says, 'if you go without cutting or self-harm for 3 months, you will reward yourself with a $50.00 spending spree to Victoria Secret'. With the time line reward system, the longer you go without cutting, the larger the reward. Perhaps your 1 year anniversary of not cutting or self-harm could be a trip to the Bahamas. Be creative with this, but make it something that's realistic to your budget and personal living situation.

10. Instead of a razor, use a red marker.
Or some body paint. Take a non permanent red marker, and put the same marks on your body that you would have with the razor. For me, sometimes I just need to see the blood - you know? With a marker, you can draw blood WITHOUT drawing blood. And once the urge passes, you can just wash that 'pain' away and feel okay in knowing that you don't have new scars forming on your body.

One final note. If you do end up cutting, don't think you can't start over and try some of these tips again. Just find something that works AT THAT MOMENT so that you don't self-harm or cut and be willing to switch it up and be creative.

{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}}}}

Featured Resource - Emotional Freedom Technique

This week, I am featuring one resource that I have found particularly beneficial in decreasing - if not at times completely getting rid of my symptoms of PTSD and depression. This resource is called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It is a form of acupressure that involves the emotions and the internal ‘Life Force’ (Chi, Chakras).

We all know that dissociative disorders begin in the mind and manifest themselves through various physical ways including insomnia, anxiety, arrhythmia, depression, high blood pressure, and migraines – just to name a few. Well, in the past – like most of you – I have gone to the doctor to be treated for these ailments…all of which are just symptoms of my various dissociative disorders. The cause of these physical illnesses were never really addressed (partly my fault of course).

I don’t know about you, but I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I wasn’t getting anywhere fast with my therapist (I didn’t want to relive my trauma), and my psychiatrist just continued to increase the dosage on my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication – which did little to reduce the constant manifestations of other physical symptoms from my psyche. I was even prescribed pretty heavy-duty anti-seizure medication for migraine and absence seizures. I was taking medication to pick me up, bring me down, make me sleepy, keep me awake, give me diarrhea, make me constipated, push me/pull you, back and forth adjusting dosages - until one day, I’d simply had enough! I told my therapist that I wanted to stop treatment...such as it was (again, I’m taking responsibility for the non-progress of therapy) and began searching for alternatives. After looking through a hoard of mental health listings in my local area, I began to notice that some therapists offered EFT. I didn’t know what it was, so I looked it up online and was instantly intrigued.

I eventually came across a website for Gary Craig – the person who ‘created’ the EFT method, but I noticed that his materials were out of my price range and targeted at mental health professionals. I continued to search and found Steward Robertson’s course called EFT Total Immersion training. In a word – the price was right and I was so fed up with the medication I was on, I figured I didn’t have anything more to lose – so I ordered it.

Now, I have to say that I felt like a fool sitting around tapping myself here and there, saying the affirmation that was called for, but heavens help me – I didn’t want to continue to be a zombie and ‘pill popper’, either. And, I can say that I didn’t notice anything particularly different after my first session, my body was a little tender around the points that I’d tapped, due to me constantly tapping them for 10 minutes, but other than that – nada. The next time I applied the technique, however – I could immediately begin to feel relief from the migraine I had. It was terrific, especially since I’d been terrified of making it worse by tapping on my head and face.

I've had many successful sessions since then, and am first-hand testament that EFT works – and not just on migraines, either. It has helped me release some mental pain associated with my disorders and the nice thing about the EFT Total Immersion training program is it is a complete training program, not just those bits and pieces I saw on Youtube. I typically did my tapping in the bathroom so others at home wouldn’t see because as I said, I did feel rather silly about it.

For some it isn't a cure all, but if you continue to tap, it does provide you with some relief. Depending on what you're tapping, and how often you tap it, you may be able to rid yourself of certain undesirable habits and behaviors permanently.

10 Daily Tips for Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

As I said in the beginning, this site is just as much for you as it is for me. So as per your request [thank you for leaving your kind words], here are some tips on reducing the headache of living with dissociative identity disorder (DID). There really are no hard and fast rules for 'dealing' with it unfortunately, since what worked well yesterday might not today and what works for one personality, might not work for the others. So, knowing all that - here are 10 general tips for living with DID on a daily basis. The number one thing to remember with all this is - Be Flexible.

1. If you drive, get yourself a GPS (global positioning system)
Depending on how fragmented you are, which of the alters drive, and what's going on inside the 'system' (is it chaotic? calm? is everyone mostly working together?) sometimes, the body ends up across town - or worse halfway across the state (or further) before you realize it. Here's how it goes - one minute you're standing in your kitchen cooking dinner or talking to your significant other; *blink your eyes* and the next minute you're behind the wheel of your car without a CLUE as to where you are going, why you're there, or how to get back. Program the GPS for home first thing. Just last week this [psychogenic fugue] happened to me, and I ended up near the Canadian border!

2. Put up an internal whiteboard or keep an external notebook.
One of the most important things you can do to try to keep some sort conscious continuity between your parts is to make it mandatory that all of you keep notes in some central notebook or internal whiteboard. Because we tend to lose time due to personalities switching, it is vital that detailed notes are kept. Some people are able to keep an internal 'whiteboard' where the alters write notes of important things they've done or committed to (doctor's appointments, dates, exams); others keep an external notebook that everyone writes in. I've been able to make both available though the whiteboard gets neglected.

3. Let people around you know how to call out your more cooperative personalities - just in case.
Sometimes when the system is in chaos or is having a panic attack, it is helpful that someone around you that you trust is able to call out a calming personality - one that will get things under control for the system. But only do this if you're comfortable and trust the person; otherwise, the 'shout out' won't do any good. In fact, it might trigger a protector [potentially violent alter].

4. Secure your funds.
Understand that there are more than just you spending your money and wanting to spend your money. So, if you have bills to pay, pay them first as soon as you have money. Better yet - have the bills on autopay or try to pre-pay them so that you don't have as much debt. That way - the bills get paid whether you remember or not. Make sure that your financial responsibilities and living requirements are taken care of straight away, so that if someone spends your money, it won't effect your lifestyle. Try to never have your ATM card on you and see if you can set up a two-signature check writing arrangement with your bank. Just going into knowing that there is a big chance that someone will drain your bank account by purchasing things you personally don't need or want, but they may take a fancy to.

5. Have a place for important papers or unexpected documents (traffic tickets, IRS notices, etc.) and make sure that everyone in the system knows to have a look at that place when they are out.
This falls in line with trying to keep as close to a continuous consciousness as possible. Not all alters are considerate or care to cooperate with the others; Some are extremely reckless, in fact. Make sure you keep all your documents in one place; here's a real life example of why. Imagine you're in your car and for whatever reason, you get pulled over and find out you have outstanding tickets and a warrant. That would annoy even the most gentlest of people. Something similar to this happened to me. So, make sure you keep your papers in the one place - no matter how horrible (I've had some alters hide documents from the rest of us). This is a tough tip to adhere to as you'll have to get the others to agree and not hide stuff. Be willing to be a mediator.

6. Keep an emergency contact phone number (next of kin) in your purse, wallet, and/or cellphone.
Even people without DID should have this information handy. For those of us with DID though, it is also important that we have the contact information of our psychiatrist and/or therapist or treatment facility.

7. Set up a safety network for yourself in case of a panic attack or similar emergency.
It is so important to have a support team when you have DID. Your team might include your significant other, understanding friends, your therapist, even your child. It is also important for me to say that it isn't always necessary that any of these people know that you have DID, either. People that care about you will assist you anyway they can and most times - without asking a lot of questions. Seek out those people you can trust and build your safety network from there.

8. Keep all prescription drugs secure and keep a journal of when you take them.
Unfortunately, there are alters who are suicidal and who hate the body in general and hate all the other personalities as well. At some point, these alters do come out and sometimes harm the body either by putting it in dangerous situations, by self-mutilating, or attempted drug overdose. So, it is best to keep the drugs in a location that these alters don't know about. It is also a very good idea to keep a log of when you take your medication. Otherwise, if an alter comes out and doesn't know you've already taken your required dose, that alter may take another dose as well.

9. Become a good actor/actress.
Learn how to 'play it off' when someone comes up to you that you've never met and acts as if you two are good friends. These people may be strangers to you, but could be best friends with one of your alters. You simply do not know because you did not have co-consciousness during the interaction with that person. So, become a good actor and/or actress when this occurs. Use your judgment with this one - I mean - you know a creeper when you see one, right? There's a difference. Just be careful.

10. Be prepared to have your child alters come out at Toys -R-Us and other places.
If you have child alters, be kind to them and have some things for them to play with around the house. I learned this the hard way when while at Toys-R-Us, one of my child alters came out, grabbed a toy and went running down the aisle with it - footloose and fancy free (at least that is what I was told later). Mind you - I'm a 42 year old woman. I don't have stuffed animals. I don't even have board games - yet there was the body running and playing. So, now I have a few toys at home and I have 'the talk' with my child alters before I go out to the mail or to the grocery store as I got really tired of finding sweet cereal and toys in the shopping cart at checkout time.

I do hope these tips will be helpful for you. Let me know if you have questions.

Featured Resource - the Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy

This week's featured resource for dissociative disorders is the Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy (WIIT). This facility is located in sunny Hollywood, Florida and is directed by Dr. William Tollefson, who has over seventeen years experience in treating various types of trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and dissociative disorders. Dr. Tollefson is surrounded by and excellent team of highly trained mental health professionals who take a vested interest in the well-being of the patients.


The therapy approach used at the Institute is called Incorporation Therapy. According to the information sheet of the Institute, Incorporation Therapy is a proactive approach to the stabilization of the internal crisis and chaos that is the hallmark of those suffering from dissociative disorders.

The Institute not only treats the disorders, but takes the time to educate the patient about why the patient processes life the way she does. That just is not done in most treating facilities of this type, making the Institute unique in the one respect; however, the Institute is truly unlike most treating facilities in several ways including but not limited to:

1. All patients are voluntarily admitted - that means no one is 'committed' to the Institute
2. No restraints of any kind are used - ever
3. No one forces you to recall buried traumatic memories
4. A contract is signed between therapist and patient and the patient takes an active part in her own treatment
5. The therapists are educators as well as facilitators of treatment
   

The list could go on. Patients are made to feel safe, secure and supported at the Institute from the moment they enter - and we know just how important that can be as we work at building the bridge between surviving and living.

We have survived; now it is time to LIVE. Please consider receiving treatment at WITT.

Incorporation Therapy is a process

• Facilitate the connection of the emotional

and cognitive systems.

• Defuse the pain that was fused with

past negative images.

• Rescuing the lost parts of self.

• Forgiving and Accepting Self.

Women's Institute for Incorporation Therapy

*T* Ritual Abuse - Causes of Dissociative Disorders - Part 1 *T*-

Before I begin, I would like to warn anyone reading this that the following post might be triggering. I'll always surround the titles of my posts with '*T*' when I know it might be triggering. That way, you can chose right from the start to pass over the post if you're not ready. What I've decided to do is cover some specific causes of trauma from which some might development a dissociative disorder - one posting at a time.

RITUAL ABUSE

The What of It?
[Definition]: The very general (and narrow) definition of Ritual Abuse is sustained, sadistic abuse of a person (usually a child) in a secretive, methodical method that usually includes mind control. This abuse is used to perpetuate certain group ideologies.

Dissociative disorders have a root cause in trauma. Two people might experience the exact same traumatic event but only one might develop a dissociative disorder behind it. Just like no two people are exactly alike, here to no two people process trauma exactly the same way. Let's take a look at one form of trauma the almost guarantees the development of dissociative disorders - Ritual Abuse - also known as Cult Related Abuse (CRA), Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA), and Occult Ritual Abuse (ORA). Dozens of police departments around the world have special tasks forces that deal only with these types of crimes including Los Angeles, San Diego, Richmond, Virginia, and Salt Lake City. The complete list is extensive. And there are four states that have laws that address ritual abuse specifically - Louisiana, Idaho, Texas and Illinois.

All over the world though, ritual abuse is being committed in the name of Christianity, Satanism, White Supremacy, Santeria, Paganism, almost any social movement or religion can be used as a reason; however, the most common religion ritual abuse is associated with is Satanism.

Physical and psychological abuse are common in ritual abuse and can come in the form of torture, burnings, beatings, confinement, forced sexual intercourse with both parents and other non-parental adults, deceit and other mind games... anything the demented the mind can create can and sometimes is done to the child. This abuse is always accompanied with trickery, deceit and always - always blame.The child's sense of self is completely torn down and rebuilt as the abusers sees fit. Along the way, the child is lead to believe that the abuse is their own fault, further degrading the self-worth. Sometime the child is penetrated with religious items and other ritualistic items and is forced to drink and eat blood, urine and feces. The ritual abuse occurs often and that the child will develop some type of dissociation is a given.

For more information about ritual abuse, please go to:

http://newsgroups.derkeiler.com/Archive/Sci/sci.psychology.misc/2008-09/msg00003.html

Different Types of Dissociative Disorders

First - let me say that I'm no expert. I'm just one woman who went searching for answers to this 'thing' that has both saved my life and changed it so profoundly.

There is a term for the progression of dissociation called the Dissociative Continuum. The presence of this continuum is now widely accepted by those psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers who are familiar with dissociative states. Let's take a look at this together. I will present them from least to greatest - in terms of the dissociation only. In no way am I minimizing the impact of any of the disorders.

I. Psycogenic Amnesia
[Definition]: A sudden inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to merely explain away by normal forgetfulness and is not associated with an organic mental disorder (like Alzheimers Disease).

There are 4 classifications psychogenic amnesia:

1. Localized - where all memory is loss that occurred in a specific period of time
   
2. Selective - where some, but not all memory is loss of events that occurred during a specific period of time
3. Generalized - where memory of important events that occurred over the course of life is loss
4. Continuous - where all memory is loss for the entire past and the memory loss continues into the present
   

Psychogenic Amnesia is the most common form of dissociative disorders and appears to be caused by either blunt trauma to the head or as response to an immediate traumatic event.

II. Psychogenic Fugue
[Definition]: A sudden act of traveling far away from home or place of work, and having no recall of doing so or why. Many assume a new identity or personality trait completely uncharacteristic of the 'norm'.



Research has shown that this new identity is usual really 'free-loving' and less inhabited than the 'normal' identity. This dissociative disorder does not include those moments when we all drive from point A to point B without recalling the road or things around us. Those occurrence fit better in the Psycogenic Amnesia category. It appears that people who suffer from psychogenic fugue states have no memory of the actions and experiences done while the 'free-loving' personality is present.

III. Depersonalization Disorder
[Definition]: The chronic experience of a profound loss of sense of self, of feeling unreal - as if in a dream. The experience of feeling like your are completely outside of yourself.



People who have depersonalization disorder have memories that feel like dreams that sometimes cannot be recognized as real versus fantasy. They can easily tell themselves that certain real life experiences didn't happen because they [the memories] feel like dreams. Because of the ability of the person who has depersonalization disorder to mentally step outside of self, past memories can be seen as occurring to someone else. The onset of this disorder is abrupt; however recover can be very slow.

IV. Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS)
[Definition]: This is a bit of a 'catch all' category for any dissociative behavior that doesn't fit solidly in the definition of the other categories. There is still marked dysfunction in memory, identity and consciousness.



V. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD))
[Definition]: The presence of at least two distinct personalities within the body of one person.


People with DID typically display symptoms of other categories of dissociation. People tell of loss time, amnesia, profound feelings of being outside of self, and hearing internal dialogs that are not those of the primary identity. DID is a chronic, but allegedly treatable disorder. This dissociative disorder holds the most societal stigma than the others and if often mistaken for Schizophrenia - a disorder that can be controlled with drug therapy.

From everything that I have read thus far, there are no medications specific to treating DID. Drugs are given to assist with symptoms of things like insomnia, depression, and anxiety; however these drugs cannot address the disorder itself.

In my next post, I will speak about various forms of trauma that cause dissociative disorders. Until then, friends.

My Personal Story and Diagnosis of Dissociative Disorders

Sometimes, it takes a major triggering event for dissociative disorders to present themselves. For me, my triggering event was a cancer scare in December 2006. After two follow-ups, that included ultrasounds, barium imaging, MRIs, etc. - I was given a clean bill of health. But you see, during the wait time between me seeing the doctor and getting the clean bill of health, I was faced with my own mortality, and my life flashed before my eyes - such as it was.

I began having horrible nightmares and flashbacks of images of abuse and molestation that I'd already known about to some degree, but now was seeing in detail. I had frequent anxiety attacks and had migraines everyday - all day for weeks on end. My concentration and memory decreased significantly. Yes, sometimes I spaced out, showed little or showed no emotion, had bouts of insomnia - but who doesn't, right? I often found myself in places and didn't remember how I'd gotten there, and I began to lose time...sometimes only a few minutes, sometimes whole days at a time. I mentioned several times to my husband that I suspected I had Alzheimer's, and I even mentioned it to my family doctor, who ruled it out because of my age.

In the past, I'd already been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (c-PTSD) and had undergone behavioral and drug therapy for it. THIS was something all together different. One voice that I heard internally pretty often I'd nicknamed 'Chatterbox' because of her incessant talking had suddenly become several voices, some male - some female - some childlike. At first, I thought that it was all just my subconscious, especially one female voice that constantly berated me; but I noticed that these voices spoke even when I wasn't intentionally trying to get them to do so. I had my own thoughts, and apparently they had theirs.

In the midst of all this internal chaos, my marriage was falling apart. How could I explain to my husband what I was hearing, seeing in flashback, and remembering? What would he think of me and my family if he were told. I didn't want him to look at me with disdain. I was ashamed...scared and ashamed. I asked him for time for me to sort through all this new chaos, these new and horrible thoughts, the voices. I needed time. In the end, I waited too long. He moved out and although we tried to work things out - it just wasn't possible.

Things were progressing and severely impacting my employment. I suffered from migraines so severe, they were giving me small seizures. When I'd turn my lights off in my office, my superiors were told I presented an image of being unavailable. All I was trying to do was remain at work. I was eventually prescribed a medication that served the dual purpose of helping minimize the occurrence of migraines and stopping seizures. Fun stuff boys and girls!

Months had gone past, there I was trying to hold down a top management position while not remembering what I'd said or committed to the day before or finding myself in a meeting without a clue as to what the meeting was about. I'd find stick-it notes on my computer screen with a name of a colleague or superior, and a time and sometimes the date. So, I had to gleam from this half-written note what I was suppose to do 'with', 'for', - whatever this person. Ultimately, I'd either completely miss the missing (in cases where the stick-it stopped sticking and fell under my desk) or I'd show up completely unprepared. My job performance plummeted. I lost the minute respect I'd earned from my peers, superiors, and staff. Hell, if they had bothered to point and laugh, I don't think I would have remembered why they were doing it. I was eventually asked to resign from my position still without knowing what was truly going on with me.

The voices were non-stop now since I was no longer employed and they had plenty to say. I was blamed for allowing the molestation occur. I was shamed for knowing that at times - what was being done to me my body responded to positively. I'd never been so suicidal in all my life. But god help me - I didn't want to seek professional counseling because I just knew - knew the person would want to put me away in a 'nut house', so I endured...day after day, week after week - panic attacks, heart palpitations, nightmares, daymares, and internal criticism the likes of which I had never experienced before. I hit rock bottom one evening when I picked up a razor blade and starting cutting. Each cut felt like a small scream - a shout to god, a plea for relief and I cried and cried deeply - finally for myself, my kids, my husband, my childhood.

The next day, I was able to get in to see a clinical psychologist who specialized in trauma. I played games with her, but can't tell you why. I'd arrive late to every session, sometimes as much as 20 minutes late. After a few sessions though she diagnosed me with severe depression, depersonalization disorder, c-PTSD, and Dissociative Disorder, not otherwised specified (DDNOS). After a series of particularly bad sessions where we'd started talking about my mother, I flipped out on her and she refused to continue our therapy sessions. I never did tell her about the voices.

It was more than 4 months later when I finally tried to reach out again. I found a therapist who specialized in dissociative disorders and trauma. She was very cool in her manner, not falling for my 'usual' bag of tricks. I told her of a particularly horrible memory, that with past therapists - would have their mouths gapping open. Not this gal. She called me a survivor and asked me how she could be of service to me. I started answering her question and the next thing I know, she was handing me tissue and directing me to try to re-ground myself in the present. She gave me some exercises that I still use today to help with re-focusing my consciousness, quieting the voices. In her diagnoses, she agreed with the previous therapist on everything except one - she diagnosed me with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

So that's my story in a nutshell. Currently, I know of at least 10 others all living inside us. We've survived because we had each other. Now we have to Live.

Check in with me daily - I'll be posting some useful tips that I learned from my therapist, as well as other helpful websites and information specific to dissociative disorders.

Together - we can LIVE.